how not to work from home

I’m not someone who makes yearly resolutions. Instead, I try to identify one habit or trait that I need to learn. Two years ago the idea was learning about rest and recuperation. Last year it was learning to say NO to others, and learning that sometimes it's OK to be selfish. I didn’t do very well with last year’s lesson, so this year will be a continuation of that process. The major part of this year's theme will be taking back control of my time.

Everything I've read about working from home says that stay at home/work from home parents are perceived to have unlimited free time by family members, and people who work outside the home. This is absolutely true! Plus, I have difficulty saying no and love feeling needed. This means that I end up in the middle of every activity the Kid is involved in. For example, during the three years the Kid was in Jr. high I made costumes for a school play (8), costumes for three conventions (8), sat on two volunteer boards, became a NCAA certified sports official, started and coordinated a group of a volunteers, was a non certified stats and score keeper, became a certified lifeguard, was the daily carpool driver for school and sports, as well as a Scout leader of 20+  teen age girls (and 6 moms) white water rafting, and for several other miscellaneous overnight trips. At the same time I was raising a teenager alone, finishing a college degree, trying to renovate a 165 year old house, and trying to start a business. Just reading that list is a bit overwhelming. These years were also filled with fatigue, chest pain and difficulty breathing as my immune system went insane and attacked my lungs and heart. After I found a doctor who didn’t roll his eyes and make snide comments about having “just another virus, no big deal”, I learned I had been operating with 36% lung function, so yeah, I wasn’t getting as much done as expected.

Guess what my priorities were during those years?

Kid

Other Family

Extracurricular activities for Kid

House/home

Business

Me

This year, I'm changing the order to this:

Me

Kid

Other family

Business

House/home

The Kid has been instructed not to volunteer me for anything. Period. And should anyone worry about her suffering neglect; she turns 18 soon and should be learning to cook and clean so she can be the live-in housekeeper we’ve always dreamed of.